The hours in which Allison abandoned us flew by. It was like time accelerated. The 48,600 seconds where I was alone with my son didn’t at all seem like an eternity. It was amazing that in 810 minutes a small human baby can completely and utterly destroy a grown man’s sense of worth and make a somewhat intelligent and devastatingly handsome man curl into the fetal position and wail for his wife to come to save him.
It might surprise you that in 13.5 hours a baby can do the following:
- demand to be fed 36 gallons of milk…6 times the average daily milk production of a machine milked dairy cow.
- produce an astounding amount of waste… Caleb’s diapers from Saturday should be completely decomposed in the year 2509.
- produce a sustained scream that measures 148 decibels…if he would have screamed only 2 decibels louder it would have been loud enough to rupture the human eardrum (look it up).
Considering all of the above, Caleb and I had a wonderful time. The morning went very well. We played and laughed. I fed him, he digested. I rocked him, he slept.
The afternoon was not so pleasant. I fed him, he spit up. I rocked him, he mocked me. I comforted him, he scorned me.
The last time Allison worked, it was horrible in the morning...This time it was horrible in the afternoon. The next time it will be perfect all day long.
Enjoy a few pictures from the weekend (not all of them were from Saturday). A few of them were taken with my phone, so the quality isn’t that great.
Father and son...after Caleb's bath...
Caleb - before cereal...
Caleb - during cereal (sticking out his tongue)...
Caleb - full of cereal...
Caleb on the front porch swing - hitting the bottle...
